The impersonal electronic age: Does it need to be so impersonal or can we use it to our advantage?

If you are familiar with Dale Carnegie’s bestselling book “How to win friends and influence people”, you will know that he talks a great deal of common sense when dealing with others, but unfortunately, common sense is not that common in our very hectic, stressful and electronic age.

Dale lays down very simple principles that really do work in everyday life, but I fear that in this electronic age, we have lost a good deal of them, and our lack of time in our busy, busy worlds has not helped.

When was the last time you looked at how you responded to a colleagues email, looked at not only what you have written, but how it has been written? My guess is not in a long time.

I also bet that you get a reasonable amount of emails and other electronic communication from your suppliers, vendors and others that are very keen for a slice of what you have to offer. How many of this type of communication has made you sit up and take notice? Made you want to find out more? Probably not many.

The single sweetest sound we like to hear is someone mentioning our name in some way, it makes us feel important, and if you are really honest with yourself, it’s a feeling we like.

I really notice if someone has started an email to me without a greeting and my name because I instantly think it is a mass mail out. Give me “Hi Linda” every time.

To start a conversation online without any of the pre amble comes across as blunt and rushed, giving me the impression that I am unimportant. I don’t like that feeling. “Hi Linda” on the other hand, instantly gives me the feeling of calm, personal and friendly, definitely my preference. The farewell is just as important.

If you see a baby in the street in its push chair, and the little one smiles at you as you walk by, how do you respond? You can’t help but smile back, even if you are feeling stressed and grumpy, its human nature, and you will probably wear that smile for a few extra minutes as you continue on your journey.

So how can you add a smile into your emails, your Tweets and your LinkedIn invitations? It doesn’t need to be a smiley picture, but maybe a word choice, language that would make the receiver smile, if only a little.

Dale also talks a lot about the importance of being interested in the person he is talking to, but being genuinely interested in what they have to say. The one thing that we love to talk about is ourselves. It makes us feel important and at the same time it gives us a feeling of the warm and fuzzies. Most of us enjoy it, why wouldn’t we?

When you next compose an email to a colleague, client or prospect, remember to ask about something you know they have been doing, whether it is a personal activity or a business activity, but be genuine. The fact that you have remembered will go a long way.

The final point I want to make is talking about the things your prospect is interested in, and by that I mean taking the time to do some research. Have a look what Google has to say about the person you are going to meet, see what LinkedIn and Twitter have to say, or Facebook. If you find that the person you will be meeting with later is a keen cyclist and rides a T Mobile branded cycle and a bit of further research tells you it is a collector’s item,  you would know that that cycle is probably their pride and joy and has seen many race meets.

So what can you say or do to bring the initial subject round to the great bike? How would you feel, if this cycle was your pride and joy, and at the commencement of your meeting or email, the person made a point of mentioning that it must be great to have such a collector’s item to ride in races? You would be proud I am sure and also quite taken a back and impressed that the subject has been brought up. You would probably go on to say how your cycle got you around Lake Taupo recently, and how you plan to tackle your next race…you could talk for hours if someone is listening.

By the end of the meeting, you may not have even spoken about the real topic at hand, but have built a relationship instead. To move on from this point to a transaction, could now be only a matter of time if you have listened, encouraged and been genuine about it.

Don’t just limit these principles to your emails and social media sites; use them with every point of contact that you make with a person, whether it is on the phone, or in a conversation with a real live flesh and blood person.

I have highlighted only a couple of his principles, the ones I feel are the most important and easy to rectify. If Dale were alive today, I bet he would be concerned at how we communicate electronically and our lack of regard for the receiver of the message but be completely in awe of how we can best use the tools such as Google and Facebook, to our advantage to do a far better job.

These are all very basic principles that we perhaps do in the real world, but not so much in our electronic world, and I urge you to try them out and see what response you get, I bet it would be a positive one.